Greetings, my loves!
Today, I am writing you with an invitation to just say no. In fact, consider this your imaginary permission slip to say no (and your parents don’t even have to sign it!)
I am eager for you to hear this episode, where I will explore the Dominant Dogma that persuades us to “just say yes.” Say yes to every opportunity, ask, or task. The Dominant Dogma that has set us up for burnout or misalignment; that often removes our autonomy and convinces us that our worth is only apparent when we are giving parts of ourselves away in service of others.
What would happen if you operated from a place of aligned, honest self-service? Can you imagine that? A world where, if you’re not saying “no,” you’re only saying “hell yes?”
Hell YES, I can imagine that! Let’s dive in.
In this episode, I’ll explore:
- The negative effects of always saying yes
- How misaligned agreements keep us from engaging with projects that feel meaningful and fulfilling
- The ways out of this endless “yes” cycle
- Sharing a story from my client, Emily, as she navigates the same journey to personal freedom
Listen to the episode wherever you like to listen to your podcasts
Hello hello, creative humans,
Today I am writing to you from my bed. Like other days when I have written from bed, today I face a teasing migraine, so I am tending to myself as I complete a few important work tasks before taking the afternoon off to rest. I have a warm wrap supporting my neck, a white blanket covering me, and the blinds are mostly closed, so there is just a sliver of light peaking in, which from my perspective appears tinted orange with my dark blue light glasses on. I can hear the wind blowing a bit wildly outside and a few spring birds braving the gusts.
As I notice my surroundings, I encourage you to do the same. Notice where you are, the textures around you, the colors, and the sounds. Simply notice what is present for you, not judging or labeling any sensation or object as good or bad. Simply noticing, witnessing, and allowing all parts of yourself. This is a practice of freedom that no one can ever take away.
Today, our focus is discussing the Dominant Dogma in business and the workplace that encourages folks to “Just say yes!” The narrative of saying yes to every opportunity, every ask, and every task, is common in our modern socialization, especially for humans socialized as girls. However, consistently saying yes can result in misaligned agreements and burnout over time.
While burnout is pretty self-explanatory, what do I mean by misaligned agreements?
Whether running a business or working for someone else, there are many agreements at play in the workplace. Agreements between seller and buyer, between employers and employees, between managers and those being managed, among others. These agreements are often hinged on an exchange of money for a product, a service, or time. When we are socialized to “just say yes,” it’s incredibly easy to find an agreed-upon exchange shifted without true consent. Perhaps a client scope creeps, and you find yourself doing far more than initially determined, or you find yourself bearing the weight of someone else’s position at work without receiving a title change or a pay increase. To avoid conflict and perhaps losing your client or your job, you simply say yes, go with the flow, and hope an opportunity presents itself where you can shift things in the future.
This is a misaligned agreement, and sadly in a “just say yes” culture, many people live with this tension daily. However, there are ways out.
- Boundaries can be set.
- New positions can be found.
- And clarity in the agreements you establish can result in deeper respect and higher pay.
To share a specific example of this Dominant Dogma and one pathway to deeper freedom, I am going to read my client Emily’s story for you today.
Emily came to me feeling overwhelmed, recovering from spiritual abuse, and navigating a work situation that required self-extraction on the regular. She was given more work within her workplace with no advancement, and she felt the pressure to “just say yes,” no questions or pushback allowed. She knew this lifestyle was unsustainable, and for the sake of her mental, physical, and emotional well-being, she was ready to break through her fear and launch her small business.
The External Dominant Dogma: Just say yes. Keep Pushing. Keep Working.
The Internalized Dominant Dogma: This is my only option. If I venture out on my own, I will fail. I need to keep my head down and do the work.
Despite the fear and the internal and external Dominant Dogma she was facing, Emily reached out for help and began co-creating a new path for her future. She established holistic goals to support her thriving in life and business then together, and we navigated the bumps along the way. Specifically, within a month of our time coaching together and within a few weeks of launching her business, Covid-19 resulted in job cuts at her work, and she found herself a full-time entrepreneur. Because of her bravery to pursue a more aligned life, this unexpected job cut became a blessing instead of a curse. Despite a global pandemic, she was prepared with freelance work, an online shop, and new business partnerships.
As Emily picked up her innate freedom of choice, she broke down the Dominant Dogma (internal and external) holding her back. She began giving herself permission to thrive instead of waiting for someone to give it to her. She realigned her inner and outer worlds through a business that lit her up. She crafted aligned agreements that facilitated her creative fulfillment and allowed deeper support for her well-being.
Through powerful coaching sessions, bravery, and willingness to see the world differently, Emily reclaimed her ability to say no and say potent yesses, including a HELL YES for her future.
The Dominant Dogma of “Just Say Yes” can be seen in many places outside of the workplace, but for today I want to leave you with an encouragement to notice: Where have you been socialized to say “yes” in your business and in your workplace when perhaps your agreements (between yourself and others) deserve a more in-depth conversation. Reciprocal Relationships in business are as important as reciprocal relationships in life, so I encourage you to evaluate your agreements. Are they supportive? Do they light up your spirit? Do they feel like the agreements you want to be in to further your future?
And that is what I want to leave you with today. Your yesses get to be yours, don’t forget that!
As a quick reminder, there are only a few more weeks to apply for my Creative Business Accelerator! Enrollment closes on May 31st, and we begin on June 1st – The topics we have been discussing on the podcast for the past month provide a window into the Dominant Dogma that this program helps you unhook from so you can invite freedom back into your business. A powerful mix of practical strategy and mindset, this accelerator is for you if you are ready to hand back the “shoulds” and the “musts” that have seized control of your business to reclaim your vision and run your business on your terms. You started your business to thrive, experience more fulfillment, and live free. I’m here to help you do that. Head to megscolleen.com to learn more and reserve your spot today! Please note that I accept a maximum of 9 humans per intake, and spaces are filled on a first-come, first-serve basis. If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to reach out.
All right, I’ll see you next week!
Freedom is yours,
“Consistently saying yes can result in misaligned agreements and burnout over time.”
“When we are socialized to ‘just say yes,’ it’s incredibly easy to find an agreed-upon exchange shifted without true consent.”
“She began giving herself permission to thrive instead of waiting for someone to give it to her.”
“Reciprocal Relationships in business are as important as reciprocal relationships in life, so I encourage you to evaluate your agreements. Are they supportive? Do they light up your spirit? Do they feel like the agreements you want to be in to further your future?”