Hello hello freethinkers, today I am writing to you from my living room. My pup is snuggled up next to me, I have a green tea sitting on the floor below me, and I’m wrapped in a cozy fuzzy blanket. My little robot vacuum is humming its way around my home, and I hear the ongoing chatter of kids walking to school outside. I feel supported, held, and tired. My body has been slowly adjusting to my new routines here in CA, but the massive change and life happening around the change took its toll on my nervous system. And so I regulate. Making space, cultivating security, and taking good care.

As I pause to notice my inner and outer worlds, I encourage you to do the same. Notice where you are, the textures around you, the colors, and the sounds. Notice any emotions that are present in your system. In this practice, I encourage you not to judge or label any sensation or object as good or bad. Simply notice, witness, and allow all parts of yourself and your experience to the table. This is a practice of personal freedom that you can utilize at any time.

As a reminder, with the introduction of new episode types this year, this second episode of each month will expand on the freedom on the other side of our monthly Dominant Dogma. I will do this in a more personal way by sharing a story, a poem, or a reflection. With this in mind, today, I am going to share more about the freedom on the other side of trauma by offering the symbol and the myth of the Phoenix.

To offer this myth, I will describe it as best I can using the support of an Encyclopedia, a symbol dictionary, and my own encounter with the Pheonix via imagination and reflection. Please note I am not a poet by any means. This attempt at poetic expression is simply the best way to share what I feel from the Phoenix.

As you listen to this description and my experience with The Pheonix, I encourage you to notice what stands out to you. 

What does each aspect of the Pheonix mean to you? What does hearing about her death and transformation feel like in your spirit? What additional symbols, situations, stories, or people come to mind for you? I encourage you to set aside time to journal through whatever comes up for you. Additionally, if it feels comfortable and safe, invite your unconscious on this journey, and know that whatever you see in the Pheonix is also found in you.

The Phoenix
How can I put her into words? 

resilience,
presence,
depth.

more visceral, 
more complex, 
words could never define her.

But,
I try.

For by succumbing 
to her intensity, 
even if only in part, 
perhaps I too, 
can be transformed.

Her body.
Formed of an eagle.

Regal in presence
modest in stature.

A robe of scarlet and gold 
conceals her vulnerability.

Each turn of her head, each shift of her weight, laced with meaning.

What is this she brings up in me…

Pain? 
Grief? 
Longing?

I cannot tell.

Her pheasant-like tail feathers leave a cosmic trail in her wake.

She is the only one of her kind.
The only one to exist.

Until her rebirth.

Her eyes.
Impossible to focus on.
With colossal inner depths,
I must turn away.

Some say they burn red.
Some say they pierce with blue. 

I cannot see them fully.

Even in my most grounded stance.
All my inner forces rally.

Useless in seconds.

She sees far too much.
Her wisdom extends for millennia.

As does her pain.

Her attention.
Severing. 

My chest parts bone from spirit.

Her sacred, searing, 
ever-witnessing spirit 
reaches deeper than I can bear.

Pressure to my sternum is the only relief I can provide myself.

Her presence makes me notice
forces me to look
drives me to question

Are these depths hers or mine?
Am I seeing her soul or bearing witness to my own?

She trusts the remedy of her being
And wildly underestimates it.

Her death.
She is the medicine.
Her greatest sacrifice is her own transformation.

She puts herself forth as a mirror.
Preparing her nest of herbs.

Her eyes water at the weight.

My eyes drop again.
Unbearable.

Hand pressing into sternum.

She lights herself on fire.
Returning to wholeness through the flames.

I must leave.
It’s too much.

And this….this is only her beginning.

–

That is where I am going to leave you today, loves. Again, please notice what is present for you with this myth, and journal through whatever comes up for you. This type of practice can feel elusive, intense, and confusing, so I encourage you to drink lots of water, move your energy around however you prefer to move, and feel free to email me with how this lands for you! My email is megan@megscolleen.com, and I would absolutely love to hear from you.

All right, I’ll see you next week!

Freedom is yours, 

Megan