Today, my heart feels tender yet open. I find myself more settled this week than I have been in months, and it fills me with gratitude for the adjustments I’ve made in my day-to-day self-care and support system. It has taken years to truly recognize and embrace the fact that I deserve this care.
However, as I discussed in my recent podcast episode, challenging the dominant dogma of “I deserve this” can have both supportive and entitled aspects. This brings to mind the Greek myth of Narcissus, which serves as a symbolic counterpart to this dilemma. The legacy of Narcissus lives on through the flower named after him, representing something beautiful, as well as the term “narcissist,” which signifies an experience of becoming self-obsessed.
At this particular moment in time, what strikes me the most about this myth is how it highlights the significance of positive mirroring, secure attachment, and integrating our projections.
With this in mind, today’s podcast episode aims to explore how you can utilize Narcissus’ story as an invitation to work with your own projections, allowing them to become a positive mirror for your sense of worth.
In this episode, I explore:
- The freedom beyond, and within, the Dominant Dogma of, “I deserve this”
- What I pulled from sitting with the myth of Narcissus
- Projection and looking to others to find our innate wholeness and worth
- How you can work with your projections and become a clearer mirror
- An invitation to use my new book as your practical guide to personal freedom, “Live Your Freedom Now”
- A reminder that I have space open, if you’d to work with me deeper in a one on one capacity
Listen to the episode wherever you like to listen to your podcasts or watch it now on YouTube!
Watch the episode:
Hello, hello freethinker!
Before we dive in, I want to remind you that my new book, which corresponds with this podcast, is available in paperback and hardcover! This book is your field guide for discovering your true self, and you can purchase it on my website, megscolleen.com, or snag your copy on Amazon by searching Live Your Freedom Now.
Ok, let’s get started:
Today, I am writing to you from my dining room table. I have a black decaf coffee in front of me (not my norm, but we’re out of oat milk), an affirmation card to my right that stood out to me from this mornings Insight Timer live session, and my water and books to my left. It’s another foggy spring day with a bit of chill in the air so I have a blanket covering me and all the blinds open to make it feel brighter. I’m feeling more settled this week than I have in a few months, so I’m especially grateful for how I’m adjusting my day-to-day self-care and support system. My heart feels tender, but open, and I’m excited to see what today’s writing and message has to offer both you, and myself.
Just as I am taking a moment to pause and notice my inner and outer worlds, I encourage you to do the same. Noticing the colors around you, the sounds, the textures. Then, shift your awareness inward to your inner landscape. Noticing any emotions, thoughts, or sensations you may be experiencing. Not judging or labeling anything you’re finding. Instead, simply notice, witness, and allow all parts of yourself and your experience to the table. This is a practice of personal freedom that you can utilize at any time.
Today, I am exploring the freedom beyond, or rather within, the phrase, “I deserve this” by offering the myth of Narcissus.
I am going to specifically look at how this myth can offer insight and support so you can move past *needing* the term “I deserve this” to claim a sense of entitlement and mask low-self esteem, and instead embody your true worth and wholeness, right here and now.
First, let’s dive into the myth itself: According to the World History Encyclopedia, Narcisuss was an incredibly handsome young man. As he grew up, he struggled to find love, leaving a wake of broken hearted folks behind him. One day, he wandered past his own reflection in a pool of water and he fell head over heels in love with himself. Unable to pull himself away from his own reflection, he eventually died of thirst and hunger. Now, he lives on through the flower named after him and the term narcissist denoting those who are self-obsessed.
While the myth of Narcissus has many interpretations, one way to understand it is as a cautionary tale about the dangers of both entitlement and low self-esteem. Narcissus, seeking love and acceptance, came across as entitled and superior moving from one lover to another, appearing as though he never found someone good enough to be worthy of his love. However, his constant search for love was really a symptom of his low self-esteem. He continually sought external validation and mirroring ultimately discovering it within his own reflection, yet not having the self-awareness to recognize it as himself.
What stands out most to me in this myth, at this point in time, is how the myth reveals the importance of positive mirroring, secure attachment, and integrating your projections.
Relating this back to our Dominant Dogma, this means integrating the parts of you feeling unworthy and insecure so that you no longer *need* to say, “I deserve this” to claim a sense of worth.
Rather, you already belong.
You are worthy.
You are whole.
Back to Narcissus and what he has to offer:
From this tale, we can assume that for whatever reason, Narcissus did not receive proper mirroring of what healthy attachment and self-worth looks like. Therefore, he finds it only by looking at himself in a reflection.
Practically speaking, if for some reason you did not have a parent who modeled supportive self-worth and secure attachment, you may find yourself in this pattern by constantly questioning your worth and trying to find that worth in someone or something else. This can be a romantic interest, a friendship, or even a specific job or title in your profession.
As this experience unfolds it might start as a feeling of being lost, without passion and purpose, then meeting someone and feeling like they have been the missing peice you’ve been looking for! Throwing yourself into the relationship or job, you experience a sense of wholeness, connection, and thriving. However, within a few months or perhaps a few years, the connection is lost and you are left back where you started.
What is this?? What is this pattern? And, bringing this back to our Dominant Dogma, how does this relate to feeling deserving?
This is the pattern of projecting your worth and unmet potential onto someone or something else, thinking that worth and sense of wholeness IS the other person or thing. Then, overtime, when the projection falls away and you see them as human, the connection is lost.
Just as with Narcisuss, if you keep unconsciously seeking to see yourself in something or someone outside of yourself, you will keep looking in a mirror pining for that reflection.
However, you don’t have to stay this way. You can instead navigate this natural process from a place of awareness.
This is where you move from using “I deserve this” as a claim to feel good enough, to instead embodying your true worth and wholeness.
One Way to Work With Your Projections
When the feelings hit you that you *need* someone outside of you to be happy, something outside of you to be whole, that someone or something has that *one thing* you need to be ok, happy, whole, worthy, successful, etc.
I encourage you to pause.
Instead of running after the person, place, or thing like your worth and deservedness depends on it, write down all the things you believe about this person place or thing.
This person is: empathetic, passionate, successful.
This thing: has the answers, will heal me, will make me more beautiful.
Once all your thoughts and beliefs are written down, claim your projections. Move beyond the myth of Narcisuss by claiming your own reflection and flipping the list on yourself.
I am empathetic, passionate, successful.
I have my answers, I will heal me, I am already beautiful.
When those heightened experiences come up, when you feel that inner craving toward someone or something, this can be a message from your psyche that yes, you deserve these things, because they are already yours. They are parts within you that desire to be claimed and integrated.
All these things you see in the other, are really mirrors of what is possible for you.
And that is where I am going to leave you today. While I offered a specific way to worth with the myth of Narcisuss, I encourage you to notice what is present for you with this myth.
This type of practice can feel elusive, intense, and confusing, so I encourage you to drink lots of water, move your energy around however you prefer, and email me how this lands for you! My email is email@example.com, and I would absolutely love to hear from you.
Additionally, I want to remind you that my new book, which corresponds with this podcast, is available in paperback and hardcover! This book is your field guide for discovering your true self, and you can purchase it on my website, megscolleen.com, or snag your copy on Amazon by searching Live Your Freedom Now.
I’ll see you in a couple of weeks: Freedom is yours,