The Dominant Dogma I am addressing this month is:
“I need to hide parts of myself.”
Interestingly enough, this is such a normal part of our healthy ego development: to an inner fragmentation that discerns what to present to the world and what, for the moment, needs to remain hidden – usually out of safety.
Yet, culture and society (most certainly in the capitalist, polarizing western world culture) can inflict many rules, punishments and oppression on certain aspects of the self, causing you to never experience a safe reintegration of those shadows inside you.
I’m talking closer to this very real experience of “I need to hide parts of myself” in this week’s episode of the Live Your Freedom Now podcast, so head there and take in the breadth of it.
In this episode, I explore:
- The Dominant Dogma of “I need to hide parts of me.”
- Naming this narrative as an internalized adaptive strategy and healthy ego development
- The role your ego plays in deciding what you hide from the world and stay safe
- The role the cultural and societal “rules” and the punishment that reinforces inner fragmentation
- Using the current harmful suppression of Trans & LGBTQIA+ as a key example
- Why being human and having shadows go hand in hand
- Trusting your enoughness, despite outer cultures that reinforce your shadow
- A reminder that I have space open, if you’d to work with me deeper in a one on one capacity
Listen to the episode wherever you like to listen to your podcasts or watch it now on YouTube!
Watch the episode:
Hello, hello freethinker!
Today, I am writing to you from the floor of my home office. I am currently getting over a cold, so I have tea, water, and a few extra sick supplies on the floor next to me. I have a burnt orange knit blanket covering me, a few school books in front of me, and my dog snuggled up beside me. It gently raining outside and the birds are happily chirping and chattering in what seems like a celebration of spring.
As I pause to notice my inner and outer worlds, I encourage you to do the same. Notice where you are, the textures around you, the colors, and the sounds. Notice any emotions that are present in your system.
In this practice, I encourage you not to judge or label any sensation, object, or even the state of your boundaries. Instead, simply notice, witness, and allow all parts of yourself and your experience to the table. Allow them, and you, just as you are in this moment. This is a practice of personal freedom that you can utilize at any time.
In today’s episode, I am exploring the Dominant Dogma: I need to hide parts of me.
First, a reminder of what Dominant Dogma is: Dominant Dogma is a term I coined to encompass all the cultural narratives and beliefs which externally, and subsequently internally as adaptive strategies, tell you who you’re supposed to be, how to do it, and what you need to buy to live that out.
Today’s Dominant Dogma is an internalized adaptive strategy and part of healthy ego development.
When one is born, it’s actually crucial to develop an inner fragmentation of sorts where you determine what you desire to present to the world and what should remain hidden.
Utilizing Carl Jung’s model of the psyche, this split cultivates your shadow (or hidden parts), your ego (the gatekeeper), and your persona (what you present to the world).
This is all incredibly important because as your ego learns to gatekeep these two aspects of your psyche, you develop the capacity to function and stay safe in your outer world. Additionally, as you establish safety in the outer world, your strong well, developed ego can then support you to go inward and re-integrate aspects of your shadow as it feels safe to do so.
Where things get sticky, and where this adaptive strategy becomes harmful, is when critical aspects of yourself remain in your shadow, or perhaps they were never allowed to come to the surface.
In the modern western world of capitalism and increasing polarity, the visions of success, thriving, and belonging require so much of you.
The rules and guidelines about what it means to be a good and stable human are steep, and unfortunately, for many, it can both feel and be a reality that if you deviate from this path, you will not be welcome. In fact, you may be punished.
One prominent cultural example of this includes the present treatment of Trans and LGBTQIA+ folks.
Because of growing polarities that preach binaries of right and wrong, Trans and LGBTQIA+ folks feel increasing pressure to hide parts of themselves to stay safe. As statistics show, this is extremely harmful to one’s inner system. Suppressing a key part of your identity and trying to force it into your shadow impacts not only your psyche and mental health but your nervous system, your immune system, and ultimately your humanity.
Now, I write this as an example of inner fragmentation. A severe, prominent, and crucial example that I want to draw attention to.
However, hiding parts of yourself is not exclusive to gender, sexual orientation, or sexual expression.
If you are human, you have shadow parts.
Aspects of yourself, known and unknown, that desire integration into your whole being. Parts that, for some reason or another, you have had to keep hidden to belong in your family, subculture, or culture.
But you need to know: You are not broken. All parts of you are good. And, the freedom on the other side of this Dominant Dogma includes finding ways to live your freedom now AND trusting yourself and your enoughness. Even if your family, your subculture, or your culture does not celebrate all parts of you, please know you are SO worth celebrating and you can choose yourself.
Within my upcoming book Live Your Freedom Now, I state, “Once you see yourself as perfect in all of your differences, you take back your freedom. You have the opportunity to choose for yourself internal validation. We live in a world that is not created for so many parts of us, one that’s not created for women, minorities, trans people, queer people, neurodivergent people, highly sensitive people…the list goes on. When we show up in that world every single day anyway, we have to choose our own enoughness. We have to decide we belong and that we deserve to thrive.”
This is what I want to invite you to today.
I invite you to trust your enoughness and strengthen your ability to choose. You can evaluate the Dominant Dogma you have been living from, and based on your discernment, hand back the harmful binaries, hand back anything that tries to convince you that all parts of you are not welcome, that all parts of you are not good.
That said, please remember that this is a short podcast episode that cannot discuss all the nuances of claiming personal freedom. I desire to offer a reframe of freedom that invites humanity, regard, and reciprocity back into our personal Freedom Journeys. And…it is crucial to remember that there are so many ways you have been required to live with cognitive dissonance in your being. I encourage you to notice where you have the capacity to engage in this invitation and where you do not. Take what serves you, leave the rest, and always put your safety first.
And that is where I am going to leave you today.
In two weeks, I will share a bit more about the Freedom Beyond hiding yourself by offering a myth, story, or symbol.
Additionally, I want to remind you that currently, in the United States the rights of Trans and LGBTQIA+ folks are under attack. With this in mind, within the show notes (available on megscolleen.com), I have included a few resources to get involved, learn, and get support.
I’m sending you all so much love, and I’ll see you in a couple of weeks.
Freedom is yours,
Trans & LGBTQ Resources:
Article: Know Your Rights
LGBTQ Youth: https://truecolorsunited.org/