Today, I’m immersing myself into my new environment and discussing Self Trust, the third practice in my Five Practices of Freedom on the Live Your Freedom Now podcast. Much of the Dominant Dogma I was taught, and I believe many of you may have learned, as well, is to disconnect my body from my mind, which disembodied me from a sovereign sense of self trust. So today, I invite you to listen in as I expand on the Ego and Shadow Self, and how to bring awareness to them in order to liberate the parts of you that you were taught to distrust.
So, let’s begin, shall we? In today’s episode, I dive deeper into:
- The third practice of freedom: Self Trust
- A short pause as I ground into and orient to my new environment
- How you are taught to be in a disembodied state, separating your mind & body in a way that creates inner distrust
- Reclaiming your self trust to meet your own needs or call out the things which are causing you harm
- Developing awareness and opening up a line of communication with your Ego
- Integrating your Shadow Self, which are the parts of you that your Ego cast aside to create a sense of safety
- Freeing the discarded parts inside yourself and letting that empower you into more wholeness and self trust
- A handful of journal prompts to help you ground into this practice
Listen to the episode wherever you like to listen to your podcasts.
Hello hello, freethinkers, today I am writing to you from a little corner in a bustling coffee shop in Washington DC. Over the weekend my partner, my pup Patrick, and I relocated here for the next three months or so while my partner participates in a contract position he took on. We did this one time before during 2020, and it was a mix of both wonderful and incredibly hard due to the tumultuous time and the consistent protests outside our apartment daily reminding me of how much our country is hurting. My hope is that this time will be far more balanced, as I’ve learned more tools to bolster my nervous system, we are a bit further from the white house, and I have a therapist holding my hand virtually through the ups and downs.
But, back to the little corner I’m sitting in.
Part of my nervous system bolstering this time around is researching places I desire to spend my time while working, playing, exercising, and so on. So today, my first morning here, I picked one of the places on my list, a coffee shop, right around the corner from our apartment. I took my time getting ready this morning, I got the dog settled in with all his security items to support his little nervous system, and now I’m enjoying a latte and overpriced (but delicious) avocado toast to start this three months off on the best foot possible.
I’m sitting at a bar like structure with a marble counter top, my avocado toast is off to my right, my latte on my left, my feet are dangling off the stool I’m sitting on, but crossed at the ankle to provide a sense of energertic boundaries and security in my system. My purse is on the stool next to me, and I have a clear view through the length of the coffee shop and out to the sunny street outside.
As I take a moment to ground into the present moment and orient to my surroundings, I invite you to do the same. We are covering a beautiful pracitce today, the practice of self-trust, and that practice begins here. In this moment. Noticing where you are. What is true for you. And today, perhaps add in a self reflection asking, “What do I need? How can I meet that need?” This may look as simple as my practice of noticing I felt a bit floaty and ungrounded, then allowing my ankles to cross to provide an energetic boundary and sense of security. Take your time, pause this episode if you need a moment, and tap into this practice of freedom that no one can take away from you.
Today, is the third week of our five week journey through each the Five Practices Of Freedom so as you listen to this podcast, you can not only evaluate the Dominant Dogma I’m sharing about in the latest episode, but you can integrate this practice into your daily life, evaluating the Dominant Dogma in your world, then intentionally choosing how you desire to embody the freedom you crave.
These five practices have been crafted over the past four years while I have mapped my own journey along with the pathway I noticed from each of my coaching clients. It’s a cyclical pathway where you shift your perspective from the Dominant Dogma surrounding you, reclaim inner capacity, and cultivate new more expansive pathways to move forward. The practices can loop and overlap and because of this there is no right or wrong way to engage on this journey. Utilize the practices as they feel good for you, and remember the primary goal is always to live your freedom, right here, right now. Take what serves you, leave the rest, and always put your safety first.
The third practice: Self-Trust
So much of the modern western culture values thinking over feeling. You have likely been conditioned to believe that your mind and body functions separately. Even at a subtle, undetectable level, you have learned to live from a more disembodied state, pushing through each day and relying on external expectations instead of trusting the sensations your body shares.
In essence, you’ve been taught to distrust yourself.
This can cause acute instability and pain, which often manifests both mentally and physically, because you are unable to meet your own needs or call out the things which are causing you harm.
This type of experience causes each one of us to develop our Shadow Self and our Ego.
However, finding your freedom and separating from Dominant Dogma allows for a reconnection to your essence by listening to those parts of you that have kept you safe, but that are no longer needed in the same way.
This Freedom Journey, and this practice of Self-Trust includes developing a line of communication to your ego, integrating your Shadow Self, and allowing your true essence to be seen.
Let’s break these two parts of you down a bit:
In essence, your ego is the persona that you present to the world. It’s the mask you wear that allows you to belong and stay safe. In saying that, this may sound negative, and you may feel defensive thinking, “I don’t do that! I try to be authentic and be myself no matter what!” Which may be true, however this ego part of you, is not bad. As previously mentioned, it has allowed you to belong and stay safe. This projection you’ve crafted, is part of why you’re alive and surviving in the world. The problem lies in the lack of communication and awareness between you and this part of yourself, resulting in the ego running the show without supervision. This can then cultivate a sensation of losing yourself, feeling like you don’t even know what you want anymore, feeling a lack of integrity between your values and your actions, and more. However, the exciting part of this, is that just by listening to this episode, you are already becoming more aware of your ego and thus you can begin to notice this part of yourself and determine if it’s working in your favor and in a way that feels good inside and out. This is a HUGE part of self-trust.When you can direct your ego with intentionality, you develop a congruence between your inner and outer worlds resulting in DEEP inner peace and alignment.
Breath that in for a minute! Even thinking about that feels good, right?
Now, for this practice of Self-Trust, I encourage you to not necessarily take action towards anything yet. Instead, simply notice your ego. Notice where you have felt misalignment and ask yourself if this may be due to your ego acting without inner consent.
Next, let’s breakdown the Shadow Self and it’s roll in this Self-Trust Practice and your Personal Freedom Journey.
Your shadow self is the flip side of your ego. It is made up of all the parts of you that were cast aside by your ego so that you can stay safe and belong. It’s as though your Ego said, “Ok, when I we express anger, we get reprimanded and punished. So that’s not ok. Anger, you are hereby ostracized to our shadow. You, don’t get to have a say anymore.” It’s this catch all space within you where your rejected parts get placed in prison. In our modern culture the shadow often includes: your playful creativity from childhood, your anger, your sadness or grief, your natural sexuality, your tendancy to get loud and passionate, and so on. Additionally, the Shadow Self likely includes what has been called your, “inner child” or inner children. Versions of you that desired love and affection, but that did not have their needs met. Little selves who were perhaps told they were too much, too hyper, too quiet, not energetic enough, too needy, etc. etc. etc. Richard Schwartz calls these parts within, “Internal Family Systems” and has crafted a unique psychotherapy specifically created to help people heal by accessing and loving their protective and wounded inner parts. Simply put, his practice is Shadow Work. It’s a practice which invites all parts of you to the table, so they can be seen and heard, with your essence at the forefront guiding the conversation, tending to the wounded parts, and integrating your shadow so you can live whole and free.
And that is what these Five Practices of Freedom are for as well. But more specifically, what this practice of Self-Trust is about. Inviting all parts of you to the table, your inner children, your ego, your shadow, listening to these parts, and trusting that at one time they served you, and they may simply need to be redirected. Or they may have an unmet need, that now, as an adult, you can meet.
You can reconnect with your whole self, your essence, and allow your emotions to flow through you. You can start to unravel the stories you treated like fact your entire life and move forward with aligned action that reflects actual truth.
You can trust how you feel, what you think, and how you sense the world and others around you.
Tune into that trust. Believe yourself.
Your experience on this planet is YOURS. No one else’s. Let’s get to know you.
As you begin, or return to Self-Trust in your own life, here are a few journal prompts to support your journey:
Begin this practice by tapping back into YOU:
- What do you value most in the world?
- What makes you feel whole?
- When do you feel like your best self?
- Why are you an incredible friend?
Second, notice how this plays into your Personal Freedom Journey as you unhook from the Dominant Dogma in your life. Grab your responses from the first practice, Playful Curiosity, and circle back on where you feel a lack of freedom and how you know this. Then, journal through what you want instead. Specifically as yourself:
- The new feelings, beliefs, and values I desire for my freedom are…_____________
This is what I want to leave you with today! If you begin these journal prompts, I would love to know! Tag me on instagram @megscolleen or shoot me a dm and fill me in on how this lands with you! Additionally, if you want support on your Freedom Journey I would love to invite you into a one-on-one coaching series.
I typically start coaching folks for a period of 3-6 months where we meet bi-weekly via zoom or phone call and in each call we may enter into a beautiful mix of honoring the past, tending to the present, and ultimately cultivate beautiful capacity within you so you can embrace your most free self and go after the goals you desire for yourself.
Whether you are struggling with anxiety, navigating a life change, or breaking free from toxic Dominant Dogma, I’m here to facilitate breakthroughs and coach you step-by-step so you can embody your freedom, right here and now!
You can learn more about my 1:1 coaching and book a FREE Clarity Call at megscolleen.com!
All right, I’ll see you next week!
Freedom is yours,
“Your shadow self is the flip side of your ego. It is made up of all the parts of you that were cast aside by your ego so that you can stay safe and belong.” (This is a powerful way to put this, never heard it quite this way before)
“The practice of Self-Trust includes developing a line of communication to your ego, integrating your Shadow Self and allowing your true essence to be seen.”
Mentions & More:
- My previous podcast episodes in this series: Playful Curiosity & Non-Judgement Awareness
- My 1:1 coaching series! Book a FREE clarity call with me to get started: https://megscolleen.com/book-a-free-call/
- My Instagram! If you work with some of these journal prompts or feel compelled by what was shared in this episode, please feel free to connect with me there
- Richard Schwartz’s “Internal Family Systems”