Today, I am honoring my need to be in bed while still holding space to show up as your coach here on the podcast. Which is an unintended mirror and example for the fourth practice in my 5 Practices of Freedom, Congruence & Integrity, on the Live Your Freedom Now podcast.
Noticing my needs is how I stop bypassing my current experience in order to also stay committed to what’s important to me.
Dominant Dogma in our system tells you that your values and beliefs should be honored first and foremost, and to push through and bypass what your current experience, feelings or body is needing.
Today, I invite you to listen to how practicing both congruence AND integrity is possible, and how it unleashes your capacity to embody your freedom now.
So, let’s sink in. In today’s episode, I share:
- The fourth practice of freedom: Integrity & Congruence
- A short pause to attune to your space, as I attune to my move to DC and my current needs
- How choosing what honors your congruence and living with integrity creates capacity for more freedom
- Why you can live more fully when you let this practice assist you in making choices
- The meaning and definitions of “Congruence” and “Integrity”
- Reclaiming congruence (holding space for your needs, emotions, feelings) while also reclaiming integrity (holding space for your beliefs, values, commitments)
- Why you overlook your current needs if you are bypassing your congruence for your integrity
- A series of thoughtful journal prompts that are the “work” of this practice
Listen to the episode wherever you like to listen to your podcasts.
Read on for quote highlights or listen to the episode below:
Hello hello, freethinkers, today I am writing to you from bed. It’s been a while since I’ve needed to write from the cozy cocoon of blankets that make up my bed, but after moving to Washington DC last week my migraines began an influx, so tending to myself and re-evaluating my support system in this season is required. And now, like other times before, writing from bed. This time in the small corner of DC that is ours: my partner, our pup, and mine. The white duvet cover holds me, my fuzzy grey blanket from home is covering my legs, and my dog is snuggled up next to me. Off to my left I have a fresh water on the nightstand, off to my right the window is casting a soft light into the space, but the blinds are slightly closed to maintain a barrier between me and the outside world. I have Netflix on in the background playing Madame Secretary for the umptheenth time, not only providing the comfort of a favorite show, but also offering rose colored glasses for the city and our government. I feel settled, grounded, tired, and grateful. The aftermath of migraines tends to be a soft and tender spirit, and that is where I am today.
As I take a moment to pause and notice my inner and outer worlds, I encourage you to do the same. Notice the colors within your world, the way the objects around you are placed, where light hits, and where shadows fall. Notice the textures of what is holding you and what is around you. Notice how your body feels in your chair today, how your heart feels, if there are any tender or tense spaces in you being. Not judging what you see and are experiencing, simply noticing it. Allowing it. Honor it with your brief attention and presence. This is a practice of freedom that you can utalize at any time. A practice to attune to your space, and come home to your power.
Today, is the fourth week of our five week journey through each the Five Practices Of Freedom so as you listen to this podcast, you can not only evaluate the Dominant Dogma I’m sharing about in the latest episode, but you can integrate this practice into your daily life, evaluating the Dominant Dogma in your world, then intentionally choosing how you desire to embody the freedom you crave.
These five practices have been crafted over the past four years while I have mapped my own journey along with the pathway I noticed from each of my coaching clients. It’s a cyclical pathway where you shift your perspective from the Dominant Dogma surrounding you, reclaim inner capacity, and cultivate new more expansive pathways to move forward. The practices can loop and overlap and because of this there is no right or wrong way to engage on this journey. Utilize the practices as they feel good for you, and remember the primary goal is always to live your freedom, right here, right now. Take what serves you, leave the rest, and always put your safety first.
The fourth practice: Integrity & Congruence
This practice is where implementation occurs. It’s when shit gets real and you put into practice the many things you have learned thus far. This is the phase where my one-on-one clients dive deep and take the things they have realized do NOT feel good in their life and start to release them. It’s where boundaries are communicated, where old stories about self are handed back and new, more supportive beliefs replace them.
In the simplest terms, this is where you let go of anything that is no longer serving you and establish new aligned values for yourself. Where you shine brightly and invite the world to dance along with you, or take a back seat. Another word for this phase is Alignment. It’s where you get to choose what honoring your congruence and living with integrity means for you and set your life up in a way that allows you to live fully in your magic. No more shapeshifting, no more people-pleasing, just fully and wholly YOU.
Let’s talk about the differences of Congruence and Integrity and why both are important.
Congruence is what is already true for you like: I am angry, I am overwhelmed, I am upset, I am joy-filled, I am happy, I am elated! They are states of BEING that are true for you. They simply are. (This is what you were practicing noticing in the self-trust practice.)
You have beliefs, values, and commitments that are extremely important to you. When you choose to live in alignment with these beliefs, you live in integrity. That might mean honoring the commitment to your partner by remaining faithful, going to extraordinary lengths to live aligned with nature, or sacrificing a great deal for your religion. Integrity is the solid structure that frames your decisions and how you show up in the world.
When you have strong values, it’s easy to bypass or overlook your congruence and live only with integrity. While this means you’re honoring your values and beliefs, it may result in not honoring yourself and your needs. It can cultivate distrust in your body because you are choosing external factors over your internal compass. Over time, this can result in wobbly integrity as your self fights to be the top priority.
Our goal here is to give you space to hold both your Congruence AND your Integrity.
The goal is to notice and hold space for your experience, feelings, and emotions (congruence), while noticing your beliefs, values, and commitments (integrity) and deciding how you want to show up in the world.
That is true freedom!
As you begin, or return to Integrity & Congruence in your own life, here are a few journal prompts to support your journey:
First bring to mind your responses from past practices:
- I currently feel a lack of freedom: _____________
- I know this because: _____________
Second, craft your new congruent and integral path forward:
- Congruent Statements – What is ACTUALLY true about me in relation to this situation/topic. Statements that are true of my current experience:
- I am…
- I am…
- I am…
- Integrity Statements – What NEW values and beliefs do I want to embody that honor my congruent statements and that align with who I desire to be in this world?
- I value…
- I believe…
- With all this in mind I will live my freedom now by:
This practice relies so much on these self reflections. So while this episode holds less “teaching” the real transformation lies in your honest responses to these prompts and crafting your new path forward. Please take time to consider these prompts, perhaps taking an afternoon or a weekend to journal, reflect and engage with this practice.
And that is what I want to leave you with today! If you begin these journal prompts, I would love to know! Tag me on instagram @megscolleen or shoot me a dm and fill me in on how this lands with you! Additionally, if you want support on your Freedom Journey I would love to invite you into a one-on-one coaching series.
You don’t have to wait for the world, family, friends, or your workplace to change before you feel free.
You don’t have to continue living life feeling*
👉 Ashamed for being yourself
👉 On edge, or at your breaking point
Your raw magic and innate knowings have been hiding beneath the surface for far to long and as your coach I will teach you to reclaim your essence and embody the freedom you crave.
I typically start coaching folks for a period of 3-6 months where we meet bi-weekly via zoom or phone call and in each call we enter into a beautiful mix of honoring the past, tending to the present, and ultimately cultivate beautiful capacity within you so you can embrace your most free self and go after the goals you desire for yourself.
You can learn more about my 1:1 coaching and book a FREE Clarity Call at megscolleen.com!
All right, I’ll see you next week!
Freedom is yours,
“Congruence is what is already true for you and in you, right now. Integrity is the way you keep living deeper into your values now and in the future.“
“When you have strong values, it’s easy to bypass or overlook your congruence and live only with integrity. While this means you’re honoring your values and beliefs, it may result in not honoring yourself and your needs. It can cultivate distrust in your body because you are choosing external factors over your internal compass. Over time, this can result in wobbly integrity as your self fights to be the top priority. “
“The goal is to notice and hold space for your experience, feelings, and emotions (congruence), while noticing your beliefs, values, and commitments (integrity) and deciding how you want to show up in the world.“
Mentions & More:
- My previous podcast episodes in this series: Playful Curiosity, Non-Judgement Awareness + Self Trust
- My 1:1 coaching series! Book a FREE clarity call with me to get started: https://megscolleen.com/book-a-free-call/
- My Instagram! If you work with some of these journal prompts or feel compelled by what was shared in this episode, please feel free to connect with me there