Hello, hello freethinker!

Before we dive in, I want to remind you that my new book, which corresponds with this podcast, is available in paperback and hardcover! This book is your field guide for discovering your true self, and you can purchase it on my website, megscolleen.com, or snag your copy on Amazon by searching Live Your Freedom Now.

Ok, let’s get started: 

Today I am writing to you from my front porch. I am incredibly grateful to be sitting here today because there is finally sunshine! We’ve had spring and early summer fog for about the past two months so feeling the sun on my face is so needed and getting to spend time on my front porch watching folks walking their dogs, chatting, and just going about their day feels incredibly life giving. It’s about 9:30am as I’m writing this, so I have my decaf coffee off to my left and my legs are outstretched in front of me with my laptop on my lap. The birds are singing and I hear the gentle hum of local traffic mixed with the sound of kids playing at the school behind my house. I feel grateful, grounded, and present.

As I pause to notice my inner and outer worlds, I encourage you to do the same. Notice where you are, the textures around you, the colors, and the sounds. Notice any emotions that are present in your system.

In this practice, I encourage you not to judge or label any sensation or object. Instead, simply notice, witness, and allow all parts of yourself and your experience to the table. Allow them, and you, just as you are in this moment. This is a practice of personal freedom that you can utilize at any time.

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In today’s episode, I am exploring the Dominant Dogma: I’m not where I should be

First, a brief reminder of what Dominant Dogma is: Dominant Dogma is a term I coined to encompass all the cultural narratives and beliefs which externally—and subsequently internally as adaptive strategies—dictate who you are “supposed” to be, what you are “supposed” to do, and what you are “supposed” to want.

To understand the origins of this Dominant Dogma, it is essential to examine its roots in capitalistic, patriarchal, and developmental ideals.

Within the field of Developmental psychology, the Dominant Dogma of “I’m not where I should be” becomes evident through a hierarchical structure that delineates where you “should” be in terms of your educational, developmental, and social progress. Society, particularly Western cultures, tend to implicitly reinforce the idea that certain milestones and achievements must be met at specific stages of life. Consequently, if you fail to meet these societal markers for any reason, there is a pervasive belief, often unconsciously, that you are somehow “behind” where you “should” be.

Capitalism promotes this Dominant Dogma as an economic system that promotes the accumulation of wealth and material possessions as indicators of success and happiness. Consequently, you are often driven to pursue external markers of achievement, such as a high-paying job, prestigious title, and lavish lifestyle. These external metrics can become intertwined with your identity and self-worth, leading to a perpetual sense of discontentment if you falls short of societal expectations.

Finally, the patriarchal nature of society plays a significant role in shaping this Dominant Dogma. Historically, men have been assigned dominant roles, while women have been relegated to subordinate positions. This hierarchical categorization of gender roles has perpetuated a notion that men should strive for power, status, and career success, while women are expected to prioritize domestic responsibilities and nurturing roles. Consequently, both men and women may feel compelled to align their desires and aspirations with these societal expectations, even if it contradicts their personal inclinations.

Each of these engrained societal structures can enforce the Dominant Dogma, “I’m not where I should be”  influencing you in multiple ways, both externally and internally. 

Externally, societal pressures, media portrayal, and cultural norms reinforce the dominant narrative, creating a sense of urgency to conform. One pervasive example is through social media. Whether it is prominent influencers you follow, ads you are targeted with, or even family members posting their life highlight reel, you are bombarded with images of “ideal” lives on social media, where success and happiness seem effortless and attainable. Such influences can breed feelings of inadequacy and perpetuate the belief that you are not where you want to be, nor should be, in life.

Internally, this Dominant Dogma frequently manifests as adaptive strategies to mask your true self and belong within the societal framework. You may internalize the belief that your worth is tied to your competence, your day-to-day life, your external achievements, and so on. Ultimately this can result in thinking that you want a life you don’t have and that you should be, do, and act differently than what comes naturally to you. This pressure to constantly hide and mask your quirky, messy, alive, and fully human self often leads to stress, burnout, and a constant feeling of not being enough (or even feeling like you’re not a person at all).

Which, leads us to the freedom beyond the Dominant Dogma, “I’m not where I should be”

First, I want to communicate that this Dominant Dogma is not you. You are where you are, and yes you may desire to be further along with your goals, dreams, and ideals, however the belief that you *should* be further along is simply not true. 

You are where you are and that is okay!

We all have a unique journey in this life, and while you can work to live your dreams and claim more freedom, being with where you are now is also a massive part of that journey.

Expanding beyond this Dominant Dogma requires a shift toward self-compassion, full presence and living from your essence. Allow the Dominant Dogma, both internal and external, to fall away, so that you can see yourself more clearly, and explore your true passions, values, and aspirations. In doing this you can redefine what it means to be successful on your own terms. Embracing a holistic approach that honors the present moment, considers your overall well-being, meaningful relationship, and contribution to a more free planet.

These are all huge topics, and while I touch on variations of them each week, it feels especially important to remind you that this podcast is just a taste, like the tiny spoonfuls you get when trying an ice cream flavor, of what it looks like to engage with these Dominant Dogma’s and the Freedom Beyond them. 

Within my coaching work, and within my book, I explore these topics with more personal examples, practical tools, and five practices of freedom so you can claim personal freedom in the present. If you want support as you claim personal freedom and engage with these topics further, head to my website megscolleen.com – I’m here when you’re ready.

And that is where I am going to leave you today.

In two weeks, I will share a bit more about the Freedom Beyond the Dominant Dogma “I’m not where I should be” by offering the myth of King Midas. Stay tuned and if you want to begin exploring this myth on your own check out the show notes for links on the story. Additionally, if it feels supportive, let your unconscious know you want to engage with this myth and with this Dominant Dogma. Perhaps write the dogma down on a piece of paper along with any beliefs that you desire instead. Place these lists on a small table or shelf with a candle as a way to set your intentions and soften your inner world for transformation.

I’m sending you all so much love, and I’ll see you in a couple of weeks.

Freedom is yours, 

Megan