Hello, hello freethinker!

Here are a couple of quick updates for you before we dive in: 

1. First: Every Monday morning from 8:00-9:00 am PST, I go live on the app Insight Timer pulling affirmation cards and offering journal prompts to start your week. This space has proven to be such an encouraging way to start the week, and I would love to have you join! The link is in the show notes to follow me on Insight Timer and learn more about the weekly event. 
2. Second: I am currently accepting new 1:1 coaching clients! My coaching work is carefully facilitated to help you before, during, and after seasons of overwhelm, transition, and executive function burnout so that you can rise with courage and root into freedom, no matter what lies ahead. All of my coaching is trauma-informed, neurodivergent and lgbtqia+ affirming, and rooted in the belief that you are already whole. If you are ready for support on your personal freedom journey, text or call me at 815.914.6304 or head to megscolleen.com and book a free consultation to see if I’m the right coach for you.

Ok, let’s get started: 

Today I am writing to you from my office floor, but not the office I usually write from. This week I moved my office (and am still in progress) to the back house in my backyard. This is in the hopes of renting out a couple of rooms in my home for budget purposes while I’m paying for grad school (because, yes! I’m human and have a budget, expenses, and all the normal stresses of being a person). To my surprise, and also not, this office feels like it was meant to be. As though moving into it is what was meant for me all along. I have the two French doors wide open and I’m facing the sunrise across my lawn. I feel incredibly grateful, both for this current moment and for the creativity I can lean into to create money when things feel tight. My body feels safe, appreciative, and settled.

As I pause to notice my inner and outer worlds, I encourage you to do the same. Notice where you are, the textures around you, the colors, and the sounds. Notice any emotions that are present in your system.

In this practice, I encourage you not to judge or label any sensation or object. Instead, simply notice, witness, and allow all parts of yourself and your experience to the table. Allow them, and you, just as you are in this moment. This is a practice of personal freedom that you can utilize at any time.

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In today’s episode, I am feeling called to unpack what it means to be a sensitive human in this world and my belief that being a sensitive person is one of the greatest gifts you could ask for in this life.

To do this, I will read the first section of my book, Live Your Freedom Now, and if you want to take this episode deeper, head to megscolleen.com to purchase the book on Amazon.

Let’s dive in.

Here’s To The Sensitive Ones

“The world is sick; it needs healing; it is speaking through us; and it speaks the loudest through the most sensitive of us.”

— Dr. Sarah Conn

Sensitive. A word that, for many of us, brings up a cringe response. Even as I type it, my nose scrunches up. I can hear voices from my past echoing inside my mind, “Stop being so sensitive.” Despite the cultural requirement to get it together, to feel less and accomplish more, something inside me knows better. This inner wildness rises up, itching to be set free. A wild which doesn’t simply tolerate the sensitive parts of me, it celebrates them. This wild invites the tears, the softness, the laughter, the sensuality, the rage, and the animalistic rising to protect myself, others, and our planet. This inner wildness and sacral craving reminds me at some primal level that I was meant to live free. That the tamping down of my sensitive nature and the beefing up of my productivity is not the way things are supposed to be. My life force is waking from its slumber, and, because you picked up this book, I have a hunch you’re feeling this too. You want to be fierce, to be sensitive, to be angry, to facilitate change, and to co-create an empowered and regenerative world. However, regardless of this deep inner craving, you have found yourself living within the molds.

You have been sold a singular vision of happiness, belonging, and success, so you spend your days trying to be “Accepted,” a “Hard Worker,” and a “Good Person.” Despite all your efforts, and even if you externally appear perfectly happy, you have found yourself burnt out on the things you used to love, fatigued and unable to tend to yourself, navigating health difficulties, and feeling utterly unseen. You have tried following the “Six Steps to Six Figures.” The latest wellness trend on the Goop podcast. The religious faith of your childhood. The corporate ladder climb. You even stayed positive when none of these lived up to the hype. However, the fact is, none of it worked, and this is the only way you have known to exist.

You have lived your whole life finding perceived safety, some level of success, and a dash of felt belonging living by the rules.

You don’t rebel, you squeeze yourself into a square hole even when you are a round peg, and then you say, “I’ll be fine! It’s fine!”

But it is not fine.

The level of “not-fine-ness” is increasingly evident. It is evident when you look at your declining physical health. Your chronic fight-or-flight nervous system responses.3 Your depleted emotional capacity.4 And it is evident at an even grander scale when we look at the collective declining wellbeing of our communities, our cities, and our planet.

No, it has not been, nor will it ever be, “fine” to deny your natural self for the sake of fitting in.

But don’t blame yourself: you come by the patterns honestly. Dominant Dogma paved the way.

Dominant Dogma: The Unspoken Rules You Never Agreed To

Dominant Dogma is a term I coined to encompass all the cultural narratives and beliefs which externally—and subsequently internally as adaptive strategies—dictate who you are “supposed” to be, what you are “supposed” to do, and what you are “supposed” to want.7 Over time, we internalize Dominant Dogma and live under those expectations without even realizing it. Most of the stories, plans, and beliefs are not inherently right or wrong,

good or bad.

It is how dominant culture misuses them that they become toxic tools of manipulation.

It is how we are required to fit into Dominant Dogma in order to be accepted and safe.

It is how patriarchy, supremacy culture, and those at the top of the capitalist food chain benefit from your playing small and feeling broken.

How exactly did Dominant Dogma find its way into controlling your life? How did you, in all of your wildness and intuitive sensitivity, end up living within the molds?

Throughout history, we have organized ourselves and our world through stories. It is how we relate to one another and often find our sense of empathy and compassion. These stories ultimately take part in crafting our subjective reality.11 The stories and experiences like how your boss treated you when you asked for a raise. The isolating memory of how your friend from college was treated after coming out as queer. The guilt trip you received after gathering the courage to say no. The invalidation you felt when sharing your own story. These experiences and stories become the lens through which you see the world, and over time, for better or worse, they often become so ingrained in your psyche it hinders you from seeing and believing in new possibilities. These stories and experiences are no longer perceived as being isolated anomalies. They have become an ingrained belief, a pattern, and then, a dogma.

I first became aware of the depth of my own internalized Dominant Dogma about four years ago.

I followed the steps, embraced the rules, and lived out the values I was raised to uphold, including being a Christian, being “nice,” working hard, and always believing the best in others. It was working! I had achieved “The Dream,” lived in the city I had always desired, and co-built a multi-six figure business within six months! By—largely unconsciously—buying into the Dominant Dogma handed to me, I had achieved my dreams. However, each step along the way, I was required to sacrifice some part of myself and my humanity.

• Being “nice” required keeping the peace instead of setting boundaries and communicating clearly.
• Working hard required forcing my body and brain beyond my capacity instead of honoring its needs and tending to them.
• Believing the best of others required holding onto naiveté instead of inviting my initiation into adulthood and wisdom.
• Being a Christian required trusting a god, a savior, and a church leader instead of trusting my intuition and growing awareness.

These molds and roles I took on resulted in harmful business relationships, codependent friendships, and a body stuck in fight-or-flight. I wasn’t aligned with my values or true desires, and my body and mind rebelled. Migraine headaches tormented me daily. I developed gut dysbiosis. My creativity for work fizzled out. In the end, I had to navigate a messy business dissolution and my exit from evangelical Christianity.

I hit my own form of rock bottom, which, in essence, gave me permission to question everything.

I contemplated the way I lived and evaluated what was no longer working (and what was never sustainable in the first place). I began to recognize the internalized Dominant Dogma I had been unconsciously living out. I was able to witness my own thoughts and get curious about where those thoughts originated from.

Most of us find ourselves living from the Dominant Dogma of our cultures and subcultures due to a core secondary gain of safety. It is in our evolutionary DNA to keep ourselves safe and try to fit into the “Six Step Plans” and dominant thriving

strategies. In my life, following the Dominant Dogma of my subculture provided me, for a time, with income and acceptance from my faith community and family.

Perhaps for you, living out the Dominant Dogma is providing a roof over your head, paying your salary, or allowing you to belong in your family unit. Those are necessary aspects of survival, and it’s important to realize what we need to stay

safe. As you embark on this Freedom Journey, notice where you have the capacity to implement the invitations and where you do not. You won’t be able to change everything all at once—that’s ok.

Take this journey one step at a time.

This guide provides a shift in perspective to evaluate your internalized Dominant Dogma and realign with your inner wildness. This is not another set of Dominant Dogmas and rules for you to follow. Instead, I will first propose reminders of what freedom is not, then cast a vision for personal freedom in the form of invitations, and finally provide a five-step framework to support you on your journey. This shift in perspective, and this movement, is a grounding point, a relatively accessible way to move forward. Take what serves you and leave the rest.

The truth is this:

You are sensitive and fierce. Your wildness holds polarity with grace (a fact that brings oppressive and hierarchical power structures to their knees). That is exactly why you DON’T fit the molds and structures that Dominant Dogma has asked of you. You are a world changer.

This journey is for us. For me. For you. As you pick up your ability to choose and consciously align your inner and outer worlds. As you hand back the unsupportive labels, beliefs, marketing plans, and expired adaptive strategies to step into a new reality. As you reclaim your essence, embrace choice, and live from personal sovereignty. It is an invitation to Live Your Freedom Now.

And that is where I’m going to leave you today. 

If you identify with these words and desire support on your personal freedom journey, first, you can snag a copy of  my book, Live Your Freedom Now, on my website megscolleen.com. Second, if you desire in-depth one-on-one support, I am currently taking on new 1:1 Coaching Clients, and I would love to work with you. My coaching work is carefully facilitated to help you before, during, and after seasons of overwhelm and transition so you can rise with courage and root into freedom, no matter what lies ahead.

We will honor where you’re at now.

Explore new possibilities.

Then, work toward personal freedom and wholeness together.

You can book a free 30-minute clarity call at  megscolleen.com or shoot me a text at 815.914.6304. I’m here when you’re ready.

I’m sending you all so much love, and I’ll see you in a couple of weeks.

Freedom is yours, 

Megan